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Relationships Compatibility and Incompatibility

man wearing white shirt kissing woman in her nose

This article focused on relationships, compatibility, and incompatibility, and this information can be related to dating advice on maintaining a relationship, be it spiritual or sexual. This information can even be used in long-term relationships as well.

Still, the primary focus is on relationships within the first two years, particularly during the dating stage.

To understand a relationship and its compatibility, it is first necessary to understand the goals and purposes of each individual or organisation regarding the filament of their needs, be that the need to be felt, the need to be here or the need to be understood.

Furthermore, understanding each other’s responsibilities and duties within any relationship is critical to establishing compatibility and finding out quickly whether the relationship won’t work due to different priorities, philosophies and cultures.

Actress Sophie Turner: Relationships Compatibility and Incompatibility

Romantic Relationships

No matter how much you love someone and how much they ignite your passion, you cannot get over any incompatibility because those differences get to the heart of who you both are if one person is a Hindu and the other person is a Muslim when it comes to having children that will be a road that cannot be easily crossed.

These incompatibilities should have been resolved during the first few months or discussed during the first date.

Once you start to sleep with someone and develop deep emotional connections, it becomes harder to dissolve the relationship.

As human beings, we sometimes make the mistake of trying to make a relationship work where there are incompatibilities because we love that person.

Love is not enough to keep a relationship, particularly a romantic one, functioning and building lives together.

Due to loving that person, we keep trying to resolve the issues; all we are doing is taking ourselves into a deeper and deeper hole; the only solution is to realise what we are doing and climb out of that situation.

Again, this is easier said than done; that’s why it’s important when going on a date that both parties are honest concerning what they want for themselves and any relationship, as well as any incompatibilities.

For instance, the couple Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are getting divorced; this is a celebrity marriage and divorce partly caused by Joe Jonas being an extrovert and Sophie Turner being an introvert and more the homebody.

If you are a person who enjoys spending time indoors and doesn’t particularly like going clubbing and being around lots of people, then somebody opposite to your personality may very well be incompatible for a long-term relationship.

Even in the short term, they make you feel loved and appreciated because they have something you wished you had, which could be more extraversion and confidence.

That’s why when it comes to dating and relationships, it is best to be honest with who you are and not who you think you are, but every person reading this, including me, has the right to make their own mistakes.

Relationships Compatibility and Incompatibility

Sexual Incompatibility

Men and women are different; we view sex differently, which means different things to different sexes. For men, sex can be an enjoyable activity, and for men, sex does not necessarily mean the establishment of a deeper human connection.

However, it is a contradiction to this that the only way or the main way men get emotional connection is through sexual activity. This is why when men seek marriage counsellors, the common complaint is the lack of sex.

For women to have sex, they must feel safe, feel her, and that the deep connection and bonding happens before sex; that’s the only way she can enjoy sexual activity if there is already a bond with a man; on average, he is not bothered.

When it comes to deciding when to have sex for a woman, it may be advantageous to wait a minimum of three months to get to know this person and to see how compatible or incompatible you both are.

One factor also consider is your society’s sexual norms and whether or not it’s normal for your society’s women folk to have sex on the first stage for the fourth date and that the man, when it comes to sexual activity, will operate in the social norms enforced by women.

For a man dating a woman, she needs to feel safe, feel respected and have a romantic atmosphere. I will not say love because you may have known this person for less than one week or a maximum of six months.

It takes two years if not longer, to genuinely get to know somebody, and six months is not a lot of time, but there’s no point in deluding each other that it is to love that this does not stop a man treating a woman like a lady and being romantic.

If you are dating with intention, this woman could be the love of your life, the mother of your children or the last woman you ever sleep with; if that’s the case, it’s best to start on the right foot and build a connection.

Women do not deserve to be pumped and dumped by men. This is where a man sleeps with a woman but is never courted again; this significant trauma and any man wishing to pursue a successful relationship and sleep with the same woman is best to make her feel safe and satisfied.

That’s why when you first get to know one another, you establish where you are going, and when you like to have sex, there’s no pressure, and you can genuinely get to know one another.

For a woman, if you are not interested in the man in any sexual way, then leave the relationship so you are not wasting each other time.

If you’re not interested in a woman for a relationship and only for sex, leave her alone or establish straightaway that you’re not interested in a relationship, just sexual activity.

Relationships Compatibility and Incompatibility

Men and Women are Different

If you are a man or a woman in the Western world and particularly if you are a member of the laptop classes, these are people who work primarily with laptops or the tech spaces; if that is the case, then the difference between a man or a woman is not immediately apparent.

Working in an office, you don’t need superior male strength, and muscle mass does not affect your job performance. This can make the psychological and emotional differences between men and women invisible.

In regards to growing up in this environment, both men and women are told each other are the same and have the same goals and objectives regarding relationships.

It is shocking for a man that women are not interested in having sex like a man and having sex repeatedly because male testosterone is 16 to 20 times higher than a woman on average.

For a young woman, when she starts dating, it’s pretty shocking and maybe even scary how much the male sex drive and male motivation are devoted to having sex.

The lack of knowledge causes incompatibility and friction between the sexes that doesn’t need to be there.

For women, on average, to achieve orgasm when it comes to self-pleasure, it takes eight minutes, with a male partner’s sexual release taking 14 minutes, but the average male orgasm takes five minutes.

This incompatibility is due to a woman not feeling safe with her partner or not being loved; on average, everything with a woman’s sex drive is a lot more complicated.

This is why, to have a compatible sexual relationship and a relationship in general, both men and women must accept that you are different, that the key to success is communication, and that you both feel uncomfortable and maybe even embarrassed.

Also, when it comes to bonding and building connections, men and women do this differently; for women, it’s through verbal communication; for men, it is through group activities.

If a woman wishes to build a stronger bond with her man, doing something together is a way to build an emotional connection, and for a man, letting his woman talk to him through communication is a way to build a relationship with her.

Furthermore, when a man sees a woman with a problem, he does not need you to fix it; I recommend listening to her and not letting the issue stress you out.

With the male brain, we see a problem, identify it, and immediately want to fix it for a woman; with a woman, their brains are better at communication, so if they have a problem, they will keep talking about the issue.

Men find that incredibly stressful, but for a woman, that is how they relieve stress; this is why before a woman wants to talk about her problems, you might ask, do you want me to be a sounding board? You wish to seek a solution, or she must feel she is being seen and heard.

That’s why communication is critical within a relationship; both people communicate their wants and needs, and both parties try to meet each other’s emotional and physical needs. Still, with that stated, the other person is not obligated always to meet those needs.

This is why having hobbies, group activities and even friends outside of relationships is critical to help keep the relationship functioning.

Relationships Compatibility and Incompatibility

The Talk

Suppose you are a man or a woman who is dating with intention.

In that case, you are both looking for a long-term relationship that could involve having children, getting married, or staying committed to one person throughout your life.

If that is what you are looking for and what you both want, that’s a good sign of compatibility; if you are both compatible, you must talk about what you want for your relationship and how you wish to structure your lives.

Suppose you are working 35 hours or more per week. In that case, it is essential to know when you can have dates together, schedule times to have long and deep conversations and establish your mutual and separate interests within and without the relationship.

Also, it’s essential to establish whether or not you value mental stimulation for yourself. I don’t want conversations always resolved around sex, defecating, TV, food and work. I like intellectually stimulating, but that does not necessarily apply to you.

If you are going to talk about what you both want, you must know what you wish for yourselves in your relationship; that way, you are not sleepwalking into a disaster or making choices based on fear.

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Why Instagram is Bad for Relationships

Instagram feeds us all our insecurities about our capabilities and manipulates what we believe is possible and what is reality; when people post content and other images on social media, they are only shown snapshots of the best part of their lives.

Life is complicated, and people and relationships, whether romantic or platonic friendships, are complex.

However, social media presents a dynamic of perfection that doesn’t exist in reality.

Even the best relationships in the world require commitment, mutual communication, and willingness to understand your partner.

Instagram is deadly and destructive for relationships because it presents the illusion of perfection, whether physical attraction or a prosperous lifestyle.

Men see thousands of images of women on Instagram and other social media platforms or desensitise the man to a natural woman’s beauty.

Women have scars, stretch marks and many other floors that are not just physical.

These unauthentic beauty standards manipulated with plastic surgery, Botox and fillers damage relationships because they make people increasingly selfish and view Romans and their relationships through a purely image-orientated viewpoint.

Instagram is Bad for Relationships

It doesn’t consider kindness, femininity, the ability to communicate with your partner, or the ability to go through the highs and lows of human life, which causes people to retreat from reality.

Instagram ultimately makes relationships into a product, and life becomes commercialised as to whether or not a man or a woman will look good on social media feeds.

We don’t look for the man or woman who makes us happy; we choose someone who’ll impress our friends and look good on social media.

Connection and building a relationship are built through mutual communication; building mutual understanding creates intimacy. Intimacy is not created through a camera image but through being with someone, being there for them, and finally knowing someone.

That is the considerable risk to building a relationship; it cannot be through text or images; it requires both parties to be willing to take significant risks and vulnerability, which creates the possibility of being hurt emotionally or even physically by another human being, which is truly scary.

Instagram and social media provide a stopgap and create space that doesn’t protect people but makes them even more lonely than they already are.

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Appreciation, Attraction, and Love are not the Same Things.

man and woman doing dance post in concrete road at daytime

Looking for love and romance and finding your soulmate has affected humanity for as long as humanity has tried to find somebody who will accept who you are and love you for your faults just as much as your strength within a relationship.

Unfortunately, we get traction, appreciation, and love confused.

Also, being attracted to a person in a sexual sense or in the sense of admiring a person does not mean you are in love with that person, nor does attraction mean love, which can create confusion between the emotion of love and attraction.

Appreciation, Attraction, and Love are not the Same Things.


As people, either men or women, we seek a connection with those around us.

We want to be seen, we want to be felt, and we want to be listened to, and this is expressed by other people appreciating our qualities and abilities, which makes us feel that we are being seen.

It’s this appreciation of who we are which can be mistaken for loving somebody, even though this aspect is part of what it means to love another person to appreciate who they are and what they do for one another.

In our lives, we all need to know other people appreciate us and acknowledge our existence, which is reciprocated in relationships that let people know they are loved and valued.

Appreciation, Attraction, and Love are not the Same Things.


Being attracted to another person does not just mean loving that person’s physical characteristics; it can also mean loving aspects of that person’s personality and mind, which different people will find highly attractive.

Attraction can also be where we seek something that is missing from ourselves.

This could be a personal or physical quality, such as financial quality, within another person to meet our emotional and material needs.

Sometimes, attraction can come from an element of childhood trauma, which means in our adult lives, we look for the love that was not provided to us or the security not provided in childhood.

The stereotypical example is a young woman in her 20s dating a man in their 40s who is financially well-off and meets the emotional need of provisioning for young women, which takes them out of survival mode and helps them feel love and secure for the first time.

For a man, another stereotypical example is a man who comes from a single-mother household who saw his mother struggle and blames his father for his mother’s struggle within relationships.

He is constantly drawn to the struggling woman who needs a man in their life. The man is competing with his father to be the man of the household and proving to himself he is not like his father, nor is it like other men from his perspective.

The key to understanding attraction is not just about other people but also about yourself trying to meet the emotional and physical needs that can stem from our childhoods.

Appreciation, Attraction, and Love are not the Same Things.


If you are reading this, unless you have had a terrible childhood or been in a coma, you would have experienced love in your life, the love of a parent, the love of the family pet or the love of a first girlfriend/boyfriend.

What we mean by and interpret as romantic love gets confused with appreciation, attraction and lust. All of these can be part of love, but they are not the leading cause of what it means to love and be loved by somebody.

True love requires understanding the person or people you are with to love them, not who you think they are but for who they are.

This is the same kind of love a parent has for their child or a child for their parent.

Any adult with parents understands that when becoming an adult and transitioning from a child to a teenager, a fully-fledged adult will learn to love our parents for who they are, not for who we hope they are.

People are messy and complicated; true love comes into being through mutual understanding of one another.