The songwriter and singer Joe Jonas and his wife Sophie Turner, the star in the hit TV series Game of Thrones that was aired between 2010 and 2019 where she portrayed the character Sansa Stark, have announced officially they are getting a divorce.
“A statement from the two of us. After four wonderful years of marriage, we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage.”
“There are many speculative narratives as to why, but, truly, this is a united decision, and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children.”
Speculation around the couple’s divorce states that Sophie Turner wishes to maintain a more independent lifestyle away from her child and husband, with Joe Jonas wishing to have a more domesticated and family-orientated lifestyle.
During the divorce proceedings, though it appears both couples are separating without too much hatred, this could change during the court proceedings and custody battle with Joe Jonas aiming for a 50–50 split with their two children co-parented equally.
Modern Relationships and Lessons That Can Be Taken From Their Split
Right off the bat, one major key takeaway from the divorce and relationship breakdown between Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner is that one of the critical issues is their differences in lifestyle, morality and personal interests.
This diversion over ethics and lifestyle may have led to divorce or a breakup, highly likely from the beginning of their relationship.
When starting a relationship, people try to look for emotional chemistry and not with the practicalities of different personalities.
Modern culture values chemistry over what would work in a relationship.
If you are a person who likes to have a more family-orientated lifestyle, enjoys going to bookstores or has a more home-orientated lifestyle, then a person the polar opposite of this would be ill-advised.
A person who is very different to us in terms of ethics and personality could lead to great friction below the sheets that do not translate to a life partner/husband/wife.
The Wisdom of Sadia Khan
After teaching Psychology to students across the UK and United Arab Emirates (UAE), Sadia Khan now specialises in explaining how childhood trauma influences adult relationships.
What this means regarding understanding relationships is that in our childhood, most likely unintentionally, our parents or primary caregivers do not give us the kind of love we want.
Children, on average, spend 35 minutes per day with their primary caregivers having quality time.
This means that children are not receiving the appropriate attention from their mothers or fathers.
As children, we depend on our father, especially the mother, for security, love, affection, and knowing they will be there for us.
With not having the appropriate affection and not being done maliciously by the primary caregiver, what this means for us in adulthood is we start to exhibit toxic behaviours or behaviours we have copied or adapted to try and fill an emotional need.
A successful relationship is meeting partners, husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends’ emotional and physical needs, like telling somebody I love you and giving physical affection that doesn’t have to be primarily sexual.
Suppose anybody’s interested and would like to share their emotional needs in the comment section.
In that case, I like hugs, kisses and somebody telling me they love me due to my family not being emotionally or physically affectionate.
It is not borne out of hatred or malicious behaviour, merely how they were raised or received that kind of love and affection when they were children and do not lack it emotionally as adults.
A good analogy of these behaviours is a mother who tidies after her child and provides them with all consumer necessities.
Still, they do not show physical or emotional affection with words like I love you.
In adulthood, due to lacking that affection in childhood, we will need that from our partners to feel emotionally fulfilled.
Without this, there will be resentment due to both parties not getting the love they desire.
Communication, trust and acceptance are essential in a relationship; women should not be afraid to talk, and toxic male stereotypes should not hold men down.
If a woman believes you are a homosexual or not man enough because you have emotions, that relationship is not for you.
Birds of a Feather Flock Together
In modern relationships, we are starting relationships based on surface-level appearances and egos due to our societies, popular culture and social norms, and the fact that people now date online and not through friends and family.
This could very well be a reason for the 50% divorce rate due to people’s choices not based on morality and shared interests, as well as behaviours within relationships that were born out of how they witnessed their parent’s behaviours.
That’s why people meeting either through their parents, friends, or family was traditionally a better way to get a long-term partner due to the similar personality traits within friend groups and families.
As children, if we witness our parents or primary caregivers giving their spouse or partner the silent treatment, we adopt that psychology and behaviour as adults are spouses whose parents conducted their own behaviour the same way both couples will understand the psychology.
This is why similar behaviours are so significant due to a better understanding of why our loved ones behave the way they do in relationships, particularly in modern relationships.
Suppose our partners swear and conduct toxic behaviour, such as swearing during an argument.
In that case, we know that both parties understand what to expect and the reasons for that toxic behaviour.
To have a successful modern relationship, understanding why we do things and the emotional reasons for that behaviour is essential for the relationship to work long-term.
If you are a person who doesn’t like the silent treatment, sees it as counter-productive, and that the conversation is to be had to resolve the situation, if you did not experience this behaviour from your parents or primary caregivers, you won’t understand this behaviour in adulthood.
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