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Why Women Don’t Want Sex

couple having sex and using smartphone

The Question of why women don’t want sex is complicated and is unique to each woman, couple, and their relationship and dynamics of their relationship.

Therein for this article, it has to be strongly highlighted that I can only write in generalisations.

This will not be a cure for a lack of sexlessness between men and women, nor is this article saying that women should sleep with their husbands or boyfriends.

Furthermore, this piece will focus primarily on heterosexual relationships between a biological man and a biological woman due to the dynamics between lesbian and gay couples as well as people that are transgender having different relationship dynamics and biology.

People transitioning to clear those from a biological male into a trans woman have almost no sex drive due to loss of libido and decline of testosterone within their body system.

Modern media has over-sexualised trans-woman, but in reality, they’re not, on average, that interested in sex.

As for lesbian and gay couples, the National Institute of Health found that an MSM engaged in an average of 81 sex acts per year with their last male sexual partner (102 sex acts with a primary partner; 46 sex acts with a casual partner).

A contrast for lesbians that is in alignment with their heterosexual counterparts, 2004 research by Margaret Nichols found slightly less sexual behaviour among lesbians than among heterosexual women, but that both were sexually active approximately once a week.

It should also be highlighted that men and women have different communication styles and that in heterosexual relationships, couples must work harder to understand their partners emotionally and physically.

Why Women Don’t Want Sex
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What is Normal

The politically correct answer to how much sex normal is however much sex you wish to engage in with your partner or partners, but this is not getting to the crux of the issue men have more interest in sex than women.

51% of men would like to have sex at least daily compared to only 7% of women.

The solution must be found for why women don’t wish to engage in more sexual activity is due to a lack of traction, relationship troubles or the lack of communication is be found within a relationship.

After six months to one year, the beginning stages of a relationship are when couples are more sexually active and is often called the honeymoon stage.

The reasons why human beings have sex are not just the purposes of reproduction but also a means of bonding with a partner.

When a woman experiences sex, the body releases oxytocin which forcibly bonds a woman to their male partner whom they are having sex with.

You may have shared similar experiences in prior relationships within the first six months or even the higher two years; the relationship starts going stale and sexual activity decreases drastically.

This could be saved due to couples being intentional with the sexual activity.

Still, it is cultural not for Taboo or against societal norms for societies heavily influenced by Abrahamic religion’s traditional understanding of sexuality.

Within our society, we still often feel shame about our sexuality is not just sexual preferences but also applies to how we experience sex within a relationship and requires communication, experimentation and honesty to keep sexuality alive.

If couples want to have a sexually active relationship, it requires communication, honesty and the ability to walk away; if a couple does not agree to keep both parties satisfied, each partner’s long-term happiness may be better served by dissolving the relationship, preferably before having children.

Why Women Don’t Want Sex
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

The Orgasm Gap

On average, it will take 20 to 40 minutes to experience an orgasm.

Unfortunately for women, the male is not, on average, equipped to meet their physical needs, with average male orgasm in women five minutes after penetration of the woman’s vagina.

With this massive gap between both sexes’ orgasms, it is no wonder that women do not wish to engage in such a sexual activity that will leave them unsatisfied and feeling like the husband or partner is using them as a toilet, having reached their orgasm and ejaculated.

The obvious solution to this issue is for the female to open a dialogue with their male partner, preferably when both people are in the correct frame of mind, so maybe it’s best to have this conversation when you have not just finished work.

Furthermore, you will need to establish whether or not your man is willing to engage in constructive criticism and that you can both experiment to communicate your needs enough to find a way to enjoy sexual intercourse.

Suppose they are too immature and unwilling to engage in that conversation. In that case, you will either have to break up the relationship or pay for the services of a sex therapist to rekindle your relationship.

Some practical advice for a man is that women should orgasm first and that foreplay and communication are ways for a woman to experience growing sexual arousal.

Men are like frying pans. Women are like teapots. It takes time for their bodies to boil. Women, concerning pornography, are not attracted to the visuals the same way men are.

For women, it is a romance novel; the written word and language used help to stimulate their sexual interest and help contribute to orgasm.

If you are the moment dating a woman and she is well-read, looking at her bookshelves will provide a clue for what causes her arousal.

Again, the reason why women don’t want to have sex is that both men and women are lousy at communication is not just important to talk about sex but also about what you both wish from your life together as a partnership/relationship and as an individual.

Why Women Don’t Want Sex
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

The Female Body

There are many misconceptions about the female body, and it is the lack of understanding about female pleasure which contributes to why women don’t have sex women, on average around 30% on average get to experience an orgasm through penetrative sex.

For 10% of women, there will never experience sex by penetration. One of the gross misconceptions that men have about women is that by penetrating a woman with a phallus, they’ll experience an orgasm.

Humanity has been aware of women’s differences sexually since at least since Kana Sutra was first published in 300 CE, which was created to improve woman’s sexual pleasure.

Even though some women experience orgasm with vaginal penetration during sex, most women are orgasmic only during stimulation of the clitoris.

The clitoris glans alone contain about 8,000 nerve endings. Your clitoris has more nerve endings than any other part of your vulva.

Together, these nerves can produce a range of pleasurable sensations, depending on how your clitoris is touched and how sexually aroused a woman is.

Differences in how women and men experience orgasms can lead to unrealistic expectations and a misinterpretation of the meaning of the sexual response.

The solution that can be applied to couples or people looking for a heterosexual relationship is self-education and honest communication where feelings may be broken, and both parties might feel self-conscious or afraid.

But as long as there is honesty and both people are committed to each other, there will be a solution, provided there is mutual respect and the willingness to try new things.

Why Women Don’t Want Sex
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Why Do Men Want Sex

The biological reason why men have a greater desire for sexual activity is that men produce 20 times more testosterone than women, with a higher rate of arousal.

The second reason is that the male genitalia has sperm, which leads the man to a biological need to release sperm from his body either through sexual intercourse or by self-relieving.

Culturally there’s a strong reason why men desire sexual activity from a woman is partly due to internal homophobia and that men, on average men don’t experience physical touch on a day-to-day basis due to the perception of being perceived as homosexual they don’t express their emotions.

This is due to two reasons; men are not equipped and unaware of how to express their feelings outside of anger, which means when they do share emotions, they cannot successfully self-regulate.

Due to men not expressing their emotions and not being physical, any other man, in the same way, women can interact with each other, which means that the only time a man can express themselves emotionally and physically is during intercourse with a woman.

Unfortunately, this puts too much pressure on a woman and the relationship. If the only way a man can express themselves is by having sex and experiencing emotional intimacy, it’s too much pressure on a woman’s feet.

Women experience intimacy not just through sex but through communication, exchange of gifts, quality time and acts of service.

Men all have these, but on average, a man feels their needs have been met through physical intimacy.

A solution for this issue is communication within the relationship, finding outlets for a man to express their emotions or, at the very least, healthily express them.

Dance lessons could be an option to get more physical contact with more women because if your partner is unwilling or unable to meet your physical and emotional needs, this could be a solution.

The next option if you are a man that lacks friendship with other men is to join a local sport or a dojo; it gets you into contact with other men and leads to more friendship and bonding through activities which are how men typically establish a friendship.

Women establish friendships through communication; for men, friendships are built by working on a project or spot group.

Thanks for reading this article. I’m very interested in reading any different points of view or comments you may like to make regarding this piece of writing and any insight you may have that differs from mine.

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